Some questions are practical, others very personal. Here I answer the ones that come up most often before a first appointment for couples therapy in Berlin: about fees and health insurance, how sessions work, body work, language and confidentiality. If your question isn’t here, write to me.
Before you get in touch
Are we “ready” for couples therapy?
There is no “too early”. You don’t have to be in a big crisis to come. It’s enough to notice that your conversations go round in circles or that something is missing. Even if you don’t know yet whether you want to stay together, a couples session is a good place to work that out.
My partner doesn’t want to come. Can I come on my own?
Yes. You can come to me alone with relationship issues too. We then look at your part in the dynamic and at what is in your own hands. Sometimes it’s a relief to sort out for yourself first what you want. If your partner decides to join later, that’s possible.
I feel ashamed talking about sex. Is that normal?
Yes, completely. Almost everyone who comes to me knows this feeling. You tell me as much as you want, and we go at your pace. It often gets easier once the first words are out. I ask carefully. Whatever is on your mind has a place here.
How do I prepare for the initial session?
You don’t need to. You can simply come. If you like, think briefly beforehand about what you would like from our work together. But “I don’t know what to do right now” is a good start too.
Fees and process
What does a session cost?
You’ll find the current fees for couples and individual sessions, in the practice and online, under Process & Fees. The initial session is charged too. You pay after each session by bank transfer or PayPal.
Does health insurance cover the costs?
Statutory health insurance does not cover the costs. Private health insurance, Beihilfe (the state allowance for civil servants) or supplementary insurance for Heilpraktiker services sometimes reimburse part of it. It’s best to ask your insurer beforehand. I can’t promise a refund.
How many sessions will I need?
That varies a lot, and there is no fixed minimum. We usually meet every two to four weeks. In each session we look at what has changed and what to work on next. How long we work together is something we decide together.
What happens if I need to cancel an appointment?
Please cancel at least 48 hours in advance. If you cancel later, or don’t come without cancelling, I charge the full fee.
Body work
What does body work look like?
Every session looks a little different. Some are pure conversation. Others include short body sequences, or we work with the body for the whole hour. Often you sit on a chair, sometimes with your eyes closed. Or you sit or lie on a floor mat. More on this under body-oriented therapy.
Do I have to undress? Is there touch?
No, you always keep your clothes on, and there are no sexual acts. In body-oriented therapy and in individual sessions there may be touch, but there doesn’t have to be. I ask you first. The touch is meant to support your sensing and awareness, for example on your arm, your hands, your shoulder or your feet. In couples therapy, you sometimes touch each other as a couple. I don’t touch couples myself. In sex therapy there is no touch; it stays with conversation and awareness exercises.
Do I have to do body work if I only want to talk?
No. Everything beyond conversation is an offer, and you can say no at any time without giving a reason. I may still ask now and then what you notice in your body. Whether you go into it is up to you.
Setting and language
Can I have sessions in English?
Yes. I offer all sessions in English too – in both practices and online. That includes couples where one person speaks German and the other prefers English. You choose the language you feel more comfortable in.
Can I see you online?
Yes. Couples and individual sessions are also possible by video. Online, body work only happens sitting down, without a floor mat. You can read more under online sessions.
Can I alternate between the practice and online?
Yes, I often work this way. Most appointments take place in the practice, roughly every third session online. That keeps the therapy regular, even when you’re on holiday or travelling for work.
Does everything I tell you stay confidential?
Yes. Everything you tell me stays strictly confidential. I don’t pass anything on without your explicit consent. I store your data carefully and only for as long as necessary.
What is the difference between a Heilpraktikerin for psychotherapy and a psychotherapist?
In Germany, psychological and medical psychotherapists hold an Approbation, a full professional licence, and can bill statutory health insurance. I am a Heilpraktikerin for psychotherapy. This means that after an examination by the public health office (Gesundheitsamt), I am permitted to practise psychotherapy under the Heilpraktiker Act (Heilpraktikergesetz). I have specialised in couples and sex therapy and in body-oriented work through further training. You usually pay the fees yourself.
What if I have physical symptoms?
Pain during sex, changes in arousal or ejaculating very early can also have physical causes. Please have such symptoms checked by a doctor first, for example a gynaecologist, a urologist or your GP. My work does not replace a medical examination or medical treatment. If a doctor has recommended treatment, please continue with it. Alongside it, we look together at the emotional side and at your relationship.
I’m in an acute crisis. Can you help me?
In an acute crisis I am not the right first point of contact, because I can’t offer short-notice emergency appointments. The Berliner Krisendienst (Berlin crisis service) is available around the clock on 030 39063-40. In an emergency, call 112. You’ll find more addresses under support services.
Your question isn't here?
Write me a few lines, as much or as little as you like right now. I usually reply within 24 hours and suggest a time for an initial session.
Prefer to write or call directly?
Request for an initial session.